Heal the World

I was about nine years old. I sat at my desk, the window to my left. The autumn wind tugged at the trees in the distance. I looked across the field on the other side of the road, all the way to the horizon. I wanted nothing more than to run away. I longed for a better world.

Far away, at the end of the field, stood a small electrical utility building. I imagined how I would get there, hide, wait … and then? They would find me. It wouldn’t take the police long to find me there.

To my right stood my little radio, softly playing music. I didn’t turn it up because I wanted to hear when my parents came up the stairs. I didn’t want to be surprised. I didn’t want them suddenly standing in my room, asking what I was doing and why. Why I wasn’t doing something else. I tried to be as quiet as possible, as inconspicuous as I could.

And then that song came on again. The song I had been waiting for all along. I hadn’t had any English lessons yet, but somehow I understood every word: … Heal the world, make it a better place …

Tears came to my eyes.

I didn’t know the pain of the world yet, not really … but whenever I noticed something out there that wasn’t right, my parents dismissed it, normalized it. I wasn’t supposed to think about it. There’s nothing we can do about it. It is what it is. The people in government surely know why they’re doing what they’re doing.

But every time I heard that song, I knew there had to be people out there who felt the same way I did. People who also simply sensed that something wasn’t right. A quiet, deep longing grew inside me to help change the world, to heal it. But my influence didn’t even reach my own parents, who thought everything was perfectly normal and right. I should just go and play instead.

I felt misunderstood. Unseen. Misinterpreted and suppressed. I felt no connection to anyone. Everything was so unemotional, so cold, and I felt lost.

But then—when I listened to Michael Jackson—something inside me was touched, something no one else could reach.

And it was the first time that voice inside me spoke:

Wait. Wait, child. One day you’ll be able to do something. When you’re older, you can change the world. You just have to wait.

And so I waited.

Grew up … became an adult …

By then, I had experienced so much and had so much to tell. I had been on a long journey to myself, knew the traps of awakening, and wanted to help others understand them. I had explored trauma and its healing in depth, dissolved stubborn relationship patterns, and left drugs and eating disorders behind. I had started a family, moved abroad, and learned quite a few things about myself and life along the way.

For years, I tried to reach other people with all these insights. I started blogs, social media accounts, online communities, and groups in real life. But every time, I abandoned these projects after just a few weeks. What remained was never the feeling of having completed something, but exhaustion. Or new subjects appeared. Sometimes deeper truths that occupied my mind. Other times, I simply found more meaning in spending a lot of time with my children or working in my garden.

In the end, I kept telling myself that I probably had to wait a little longer. The time simply wasn’t right yet.

But I was impatient. And how was I supposed to know that one day, at exactly the right moment, I would hear that voice again?

Deep inside, all I really wanted was to be an instrument of the Divine. I searched for the highest wisdom and for the right channel through which to share it.

And so I kept trying to realign myself. Often, I wanted to concentrate on one particular subject, to show only one part of myself. Eventually, I realized that my interests came and went in phases. Sometimes I spent weeks immersed in one subject, then something completely different would captivate me. But eventually, I always returned to the old subjects—none of them had ever truly lost its meaning.

My flame didn’t go out. It wandered.

And then, quite suddenly, it clicked.

I understood how all the subjects that had occupied me for so many years, and for which I had started so many different projects, were connected.

All the little puzzle pieces came together into one great whole.

And for the first time, I felt truly at one with myself.

I no longer had to decide which part of myself I wanted to show. I no longer had to search for an even higher wisdom to finally get it right, either. Everything that moved me had its place and its time. All of it belonged together, united.

I felt that urge to change the world again, just like back then with Michael.

This time, I no longer felt powerless.

And suddenly, the voice appeared again—it said:

The time is now.

And so I’ve decided to return to WordPress after several abandoned accounts. This time, I want to bring everything together in one place: the light and the shadow, the good and the bad, spirituality and social criticism, the personal and the universal.

All of this is part of me. I no longer want to limit myself to individual facets, but to embrace my wholeness and versatility and share them with you. Sometimes gentle and light, sometimes a little harder to digest.

For a long time, I had the feeling that one day I would tell my story.

Today is that day.

This is my first post on this site, the one that will stay. And it comes straight from the depths of my heart.

With it, I want to honor the beginning of my story. Because Michael Jackson was always a guide for me, my inner compass, a light in the darkness.

He knew that it was possible to change the world. He changed mine.

He left this world early, but he stayed true to his truth until the very end—guided by the Great Spirit.

And that is exactly what truly matters to me in life, too.

Today, I feel ready for my purpose from the depths of my heart. No longer because I believe I’ve finally found all the answers, but because I’ve recognized my place in the greater whole.

And so I place everything that makes me who I am here, onto this fertile digital soil. My experiences, my thoughts, my questions, and my insights. In the hope that some of it will take root in your thoughts, grow there, and unfold.

Because the desire to help change this world has never disappeared, and it lives in many of us.

Humanity is awakening.

The time is ripe.

With love,
Corina _/\_